In a move that shocked the entire world economy, Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome “The Power” Powell has announced the ultimate shift: the S&P500 will replace the ancient Dow 100 as the new symbol of financial strength.

The moment Powell unveils the glowing S&P500 logo, it appears like a powerful mecha transformation sequence—an index forged from the flames of market chaos and the spirit of innovation. “We needed something with more… 500 energy,” Powell says, striking a pose that could rival a super sentai leader.

The S&P500 isn’t just a new index—it’s a weapon of the future, brimming with power levels over 9000. “Traditional stocks are so 80s,” Powell declares as neon lightning crackles around him. “S&P500 is going to light up the sky!”